You don't really appreciate the distance between Sydney and Melbourne until you have to spend about 12-14 hours driving there. And if you are in the back seat, you'll come out drooling all over yourself like a mutant.

Anyway, what a hell of a way to spend Easter - Torquay, Victoria, The Rip Curl Pro and 27 bands. Probably 10 to 12000 hardcore campers braved the dirt and Victoria's notorious cold weather (or 4 seasons in one day) for Offshore '99.

I can't really be sure what it was, maybe the huge quantity of alcohol that was consumed, or the cloud of dope smoke that hung over the whole place....how does the saying go? "Higher than a hippy on the third day of an open air festival". exactly. A great time was had by all and anyone who says otherwise probably got wasted on the first day and spent the rest of Offshore passed out.

At this point I want to mention the group of English tourists camped at Torquay on Thursday night. Now you've heard of a spud gun. These guys had this two-foot long PVC pipe thing that fired not just a small chunk but the whole damn potato! It sets up like a mortar cannon and you can lob beer bottles and potatoes across a park to your hearts content.

Two hours spent getting through the gates, wristbands and the full car search; you finally get to Offshore. If you went to Falls, the setup was basically the same. Toilets in the semi trailers, market and food stalls, but what a band lineup!

Ben Harper, Jon Spencer, Blink 182, Regurgitator, you saw the lineup so I wont go through it all again. Friday saw the bands start and grog start flowing at 3.30pm. As more people arrived, tent city grew to monumental proportions and the weather improved, the bands kicked off with Sledge and Bruiser and Melbourne's 28 Days and Game Over. Double thumbs up to 28 Days and Game Over! The list goes on with Custard (No - the music isn't crap - Joke Ha Ha!) and the Cruel Sea. DJ Josh Abrahams was doing his thing as I stumbled to my tent.

Come Saturday, the festival could only get better. We made the pre-music bus trip down to Bells Beach to check out the Rip Curl Pro. In case you haven't heard, it came down to a Hawaiian Final after Occy was outed in the Semi. Final scores were Dorian: 24.75 and Garcia: 23.65.

Back to Offshore for Adelaide's 99 Reasons Why, Moler, Shihad and The Fauves. Yes, you probably hear some personal bias here, but Guttermouth played one of the best shows I have ever seen. Onto Something For Kate followed by Blink 182 hitting hard with their brand of Californian pop punk. So many bands played at Offshore that I can't adequately describe it without taking up a heap more space, so moving on to the big ones of Sunday. Pollyanna, Jon Spencer, The 'Gurge, Ben Harper and Reel Big Fish. They all fucken' rocked!!! At a guess I'd say about 15000 showed up on Sunday to see Ben Harper and RBF. Thumbs up to Tim McGregor and the rest of the crew for organising such a kickass weekend. I mean, what else would you do over Easter that beats the Offshore Festival?